Sorry for the English.

Now, right now, more than ever, I would like you to read my mind. But, for today at least, it's late. As the song says, "before you go, tell me what you find when you read my mind". But you were gone. I was too slow in my asking for your forgiveness. The hour was late, I knew you would leave soon, and so you told me, but I just kept going with my bad mood and my frustration. I didn't tell you that I love you, that I'm frustrated 'cause of the lack of you. Lack of you. I didn't say "I'm so sorry" when it was the time to do so. And then you went offline. 

Fuck.

It was then when I panicked and tried to speak, in all the possible ways. But of course I was late, for today.

So I guess I had to type this. So you know that I tried. Late. But I tried. Now I'm just here, lying on the bed, hating myself and feeling sorry. Sorry for the smile I didn't allow to show. For the pain I could cause to the last person on earth who deserves pain. For my... I don't even know. For everything.

Actually I ignore why I'm typing in English. I guess words come easier when you're not speaking you mother tongue. Or something like that. 

Really. You just don't know how sorry am I. I'm sure that, if you're not angry or sad when you read this, you'll think this tonight thing wasn't such a big deal, but it is for me. I've got this trauma (yes, another) of going to bed while in conflict with someone who's important. I guess the night is pretty important for me, even though I sleep the less I can. The same way I love waking up and seeing someone special, I truly hate ending the day with an unsolved trouble. I hate it. I hate it. 

I'm feeling bad. I want to sleep. Seriously. But I just can't. Hilarious.

Well, it's about time to put an end to this post. I'll finish saying this: I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I won't let this going-to-bed-in-trouble thing happen again, I swear. I love you. I love you. I'm an idiot, but I'm your idiot. Yours. My relief for tonight is that, though you couldn't read my mind today, you will tomorrow. It is written in these lines.